JCVD

Over the years, karate champ-turned-action icon Jean-Claude Van Damme has been alternately vilified and ignored by the moviegoing public – and with good reason. Dating back to his Hollywood breakthrough Bloodsport, the muscle-bound knucklehead has displayed zero talent, taste or even common sense, and it’s been ages since one of his films even merited theatrical release.

But if the semi-biographical JCVD is to be believed, Van Damme is in reality a savvy sellout, reluctantly wandering the B-movie wilderness while seeking a legitimate career.

JCVD offers a compelling glimpse into the man behind all those roundhouse kicks. Van Damme (playing himself) is insulted by an inept director, patronized by his agent and irritated by zealous fans. Worst of all, he is rejected by his young daughter, for whom he is locked in a hopeless custody battle.

Our depressed hero stops at a Belgian bank for some much-needed cash when he is taken hostage by a trio of dimwit stickup men. The local cops, having mistaken Van Damme as an armed robber, try to negotiate the release of the other captives while the actor begs the actual villains for mercy.

The movie’s premise – beefcake celebrity becomes helpless bystander – is priceless, but director Mabrouk El Mechri quickly steers the movie into shallow waters. While the criminals battle with Van Damme, El Mechri stages a series of intentionally incompetent action scenes. The film is trying to target an already silly genre, and it never rises above the obvious; the movie wants to be ironic but ends up as mere spoof.

Meanwhile, Van Damme tries to erase the vacant caricature that has become his stock-in-trade, and more often than not hits a bulls-eye. He gives a surprisingly nuanced performance, and the movie’s quietest scenes take full advantage of his unlikely skill. It’s a shame there aren’t more of them; the star is fully prepared to admit his personal shortcomings, but El Mechri is more interested in comic action than psychological heft.

There is, however, one powerhouse scene with more punch than Van Damme has mustered in any thriller, a long soliloquy in which the star discusses his youthful ambition, subsequent drug abuse and ultimate failure to achieve anything of significance. This (probably improvised) speech is more than a little hammy, but there’s still something significant going on – the revelation of a broken psyche – that managed to put a lump in this old cynic’s throat.

According to the movie website IMDb.com, Van Damme is currently working on something called Universal Soldier III – another dopey project that costars the equally pitiful Dolph Lundgren. I’m sure the job will compensate its aging star quite well, but after the soulful confessions of JCVD, seeing him retreat to the world of trash seems very, very sad.

Rating: ***